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« Clippings | Home | Oh, wonderful, the In… »

Ten years later

column Saturday 12 14 2004 Now that the year 2004 is drawing to a close and we’re looking back on the events surrounding the murder of Theo van Gogh (a controversial Dutch film director), it is possible that many will enter the new year rather sceptically. Hopefully, we won’t let ourselves be swept away by our emotions and we will soon regain our down-to-earth, Dutch common sense. Emotions that are too forceful aren’t beneficial. Look at the countries where people let their emotions flow freely, often the results are trouble and violence, and violence has never solved any problem. But I expect and hope that rest will return in our country and that soon we will busy ourselves once again with our own daily chores and troubles.

To change the subject: This year we had to empty out my parents’ home. Anyone who has ever had to go through that knows that it is a difficult task. The division of possessions, the memories, the emotional ties with keepsakes... The plants were last to be removed from the windowsill. Although I didn’t really want any plants, because they don’t usually survive in my home and I’m more of a fauna than a flora person, I did take a sorry-looking African Violet home with me. It didn’t have any flowers, but it was green and it didn’t take up much space. When my mother’s house was finally empty, the new owners had started renovations, and we could resume other activities, I decided to reorganize my desk, starting with some old calendar books. After all, one cannot keep everything. The calendar book of 1994 was the first I picked up. Ripping out the pages, curiosity got the better of me: What did I do ten years ago? How did I pass the time? I had started writing columns for Interface, or Bancorama as it was called then, but there were no deadlines noted in the calendar book for that wasn’t something I had to adhere to yet. Leafing through the book I did see who had come to visit me for a cup of coffee and whom I had visited myself. Physician and hair dresser appointments, etc. were all noted, and also when I had to babysit one of the neighbors’ kids. It’s the kids that remind us how fast the time goes by, as, since then, the cute little ones of yesterday have grown into grammar school students and teenagers. No more Lego blocks and Barbie dolls, it’s dance club time! In 1994, I worked as a volunteer at a community services adult daycare center and in the calendar it’s noted when I was “on duty”, as well as the workshops and seminars that were held. On Tuesday, March 8, for example, our son Michiel was on a school trip to London, that morning I had coffee with Gerda, and in the afternoon I attended lessons in proper lifting techniques at the community services center. The visiting nurse taught us how we could best lift older people out of a chair or a bed without hurting our backs. Oh yes, the daycare center... We took walks with the visitors and played games, but a good conversation was also much appreciated. Often, the talks were about the past, but always about the present as well. People were well-informed about world events. Often, one had a clear opinion on better ways to run various matters. Now, ten years alter, most of the visitors from that time have passed away. Perhaps they look down from somewhere up above to the goings-on here on earth, shaking their heads, voicing a clear opinion on better ways to run matters. According to my calendar book 1994 was a calm year for me. The current unrest and fear, fortunately, were unknown to us then and we had no idea what was to come. “These are terrible times,” I wrote to my pen pal David, who is incarcerated in a California prison for fifty years because three times he has been convicted of petty theft. People like David are called “Three Strikers”. He is a nice guy and very religious, and he agreed that indeed these are terrible times. “But,” he wrote, “It’s always been like that. Think about the time when Jesus was alive, how difficult life was for people then, and how much violence there was.” David is right, there have always been terrible times and that won’t change. I closed the calendar book. It’s fun to look back on daily life ten years ago, but the past is in the past and we now have to focus on the future. I’m going downstairs to get myself a cup of tea. See, in the evil world outside things can get rocky, but in the family room there is peace and quiet. The cats are stretched out on the sofa. The sun shines and my mother’s African Violet is blooming. More than a year after her death suddenly white flowers with blue edges appeared, as if the little plant wanted to say, “Enough sorrow, life goes on.” And, perhaps, it is our greatest comfort that in spite of everything life goes on, and that light returns after dark.

I wish all of you a peaceful Christmas and a quiet, joyous 2005.

Text: Dini Commandeur  Translation: Maria O’Neill   December 2004  

 


 

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