Forum day
Monday 23 September 2013 Someone had said: “There are those busy women again”, and with those busy women he meant us, us women of the Libelle forum. We all know each other through one single discussion topic: “Writing inmates”.Once a year there is a meeting, in a café in the middle of the country. A café staffed with people with a mental disability. It was clear they know us by now, hence “there are those busy women again”. The women who talk about things not only alien to the staff of this café. As who would voluntarily write prisoners in the US or Thailand? That would be us, but also others who are not connected to an internet forum. And because it is not really possible to talk with just anyone about this topic this ‘hobby’ gets little exposure. To be able to share our experiences, the topic “Writing inmates” was started at the Libelle website. That is how we met, and that is how the forum days started. We see each other once a year and it is always a blast.
There are changes within the group, but the ‘die-hards’ are present year after year, and don’t fear having to make the trek from all corners of the country to meet up in the middle.
Put a group of women together and the topics of discussion are diverse, very diverse. Of course we talk about the ups and downs of our “pen pals behind bars”. And there are also stories of the trips and visits, as some of us visit our pen friend at times. And during all that talking we decorate envelopes with the most gorgeous stamping art, from flowers to apt texts. Just put us forum women together. Never a dull moment. We were as busy as little bees. We signed and wrote messages on cards for pals having a rough time. We shared writing experiences. We took pictures. Those taking them were kindly asked to photo shop where needed, no double chins and bellies please. Yes, there is a lot to be taken care of on such a day. We also talked about things that have nothing to do with writing by the way. Our weight for instance, and getting older. About gravity. That all starts to drop when we grow older. That, in order to avoid acute depression you really should not bend over a mirror face down. We talked about our pets and about our children and grandchildren. We have a whole range of topics we can talk about.
There were cards for sale for a few charities. Cards we could send to our pen pals. One of the forum members donated a pile of cards to our intermediary organization ‘Envelopes of Hope’.
There was no one who said it was weird what we do. We did not have to explain why we write inmates and we did not have to tell why they are locked up. And we surely did not have to tell how hard the sentences are in the United States and Thailand, we knew all that. Like when someone with a pen pal in Thailand said to me: “He has been punished a hundred times over already for his crime”. And that is how it is. It is not just being imprisoned. It is also the cold in winter, the heat in summer, the bad food. There often is insufficient medical care. There is also often not a lot of attention for psychiatric care. Inmates need to be on guard for dangerous and aggressive fellow inmates as well as power hungry guards. There is no privacy, no contact with family and friends and often no longer hope for a future.
And if someone is released, than he will have to fight for his place in this hard society. Look for work and a place to live. If contact with family and friends can be restored remains to be seen. ‘Once a crook, always a crook’ is a common way of thinking. And maybe that is the worst.
Prison life is often described as “hell” by our pen pals but once outside of the prison walls it is not exactly heaven that awaits them. Where the judge sentenced them to years of imprisonment, the public is even more cruel. They often don’t offer any chances, the general public just assumes the worst.
In the TV program “College Tour” which was broadcast by NTR recently, lawyer Wim Anker said: “My clients have done terrible things, but they are not terrible people.”
Us forum ladies have known this for a long time. Our pen pals have done terrible things but I have never corresponded with a truly bad person. Us forum women mainly write inmates to bring the outside world within the prison walls and to give moral support. But we also write as it is nice to receive fascinating letters. And to discuss all sorts of things. In letters with the prisoners, and once a year with each other. The forum day is the cherry on the “forum cake”. Such a great day with ‘busy women’, who stamp and chat. And laugh, laugh a lot. The beautiful photos are proof of that, without having been photo shopped even.
September 2012
Translation: Moni Hines